The Cycle of Agony
by Shreedin
Summary: Loss, Pain, Anger, Love. Konan knew the Cycle of Agony all too well. And she could tell that Itachi understood it too. Together they would suffer, together they would rise. Together they would create a world of their own. Oneshot, ItaKona.


**Had a stroke of major inspiration while looking at some fanart in the middle of writing the latest chapter of one of my other stories. I had a good feeling about this possible oneshot, and I decided to open up a new Word doc and write before I lost it. (: **

**Summary: Loss, Pain, Anger, Love. Konan knew the Cycle of Agony all too well. And she could tell that Itachi understood it too. Together they would suffer, together they would rise. Together they would create a world of their own. Oneshot, ItaKona.**

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><p><strong>The Cycle Of Agony<strong>

**By Shreedin**

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><p>-<em>It began with loss…-<em>

Konan sat comfortably in a chair, shrouded by the darkness in a way that disallowed the visitor to have a view of her face. Many came to Amegakure seeking initiation into Akatsuki, but not all made it in. This person was no different. He was tall and quite handsome with his hair reaching past his shoulders, the long dark strands restricted by a tie. His uniform was the kind unfamiliar to Konan, but the tattoo on his left shoulder identified him as an ANBU, and the forehead protector placed him as a Leaf ninja. Below the hitai-ate were two obsidian orbs that seemed soulless as they stared at Pein, seemingly unaware of the presence of the kunoichi sitting in the corner.

"What business does one of Danzo's pets have in Amegakure?" Pein asked slowly. It was Yahiko's voice, but Nagato's words.

"To join your organization, Akatsuki," the man replied levelly. He did not seem to be intimidated by Pein's dominance, seeing as he was staring straight into the cloaked man's Rinnegan unflinchingly. It was as if he had seen it before; had known of its existence.

Pein took a step closer to the stranger, tilting his head. "And what makes you think you are worthy enough to join us? Tell me your name."

The visitor's eyes flashed and their onyx color left, being replaced by a piercing blood red. Konan squinted to get a better look at the irises. Around his pupil sat three tomoe... No, no longer that pattern; the tomoe had spiraled and blended into what looked like a pinwheel. He trained his harsh, crimson glare at Pein, who tilted his head to the side curiously.

"Mangekyo Sharingan. You are an Uchiha." Uchiha… The name brought alertness to Konan, and she silently sat up straighter, wanting to walk over to the stranger to examine him. But no, Nagato would never allow that. Not at this moment, when the man was not solidly admitted into the organization. He had allowed her to be present at these 'interviews' on the account that she would not interfere. That is, unless the person was actually initiated. Only then would she be permitted to show herself.

She remembered the reason for the familiarity of the name. The masked man, Uchiha Madara, gave orders to Nagato. From the rare glimpses of Madara's eye, she could tell his irises were red, like this man's, and he had the jet black hair as well. _Sharingan. _Yes, that was it. Nagato had told her about the Rinnegan, the Sharingan, and the Byakugan. Her partner was the sole beholder of the Rinnegan, and the Uchiha clan of Konohagakure upheld the Sharingan.

"I am Uchiha Itachi," the visitor affirmed. Konan smiled wryly to herself. Such a fine specimen of a man could not be regarded as a weasel.

Pein walked up to stand in a way that his chest was pressed against the Uchiha's shoulder. "Itachi… The prodigy of the Uchiha Clan. It is a pleasure to meet you, but tell me, what makes you think you can join our ranks? If you're just another brat wanting to be able to brag about something, I suggest you leave before the life of an S-class criminal pounds the life out of you."

The man did not answer for a few moments, and Konan wondered if he was contemplating running away. _What a shame that would be. The power I sense… We cannot lose him._ She knew Nagato knew this, but she also knew that he would want to push Itachi, to test his resolve.

Suddenly the man raised his hand to Pein's face and a wisp of black flame erupted from the tip of his finger. "That is just a hint of what I can do. Don't make me go any further or your organization will find itself without a leader."

Pein was unfazed. "Mastering the Mangekyo Sharingan is a feat, although not enough to become a member of Akatsuki. Do you know what we work for? This organization began on the basis of pain. We felt pain and we strive to mold the world into a place where no such evil can exist. How will you work with us if you are unlearned in such a thing?" he challenged.

Itachi looked at him sharply. "What makes you believe I have not gone through pain; that I am not suffering from the aftermaths of misery this very moment?"

There was silence. "Speak," Pein commanded.

"The blood of my entire clan is in my hands. You may celebrate the anniversary of their brutal deaths on this night, in exactly one year. The reason I murdered them was not by my own will. They all had to die, and I had to be the one to deliver their fate. My whole family is dead, destroyed by my sword. I have no one left, and I turn to you. I understand your torment. I felt it myself, before I became numb. I am numb now, as I stand before you, but eventually I know I will begin to feel again, because I left something behind that I swore to myself I would protect. And from within your organization I have the power to protect it. Allow me to join Akatsuki and I will be yours to command, so long as you keep your hands off of Konoha."

The truth of this man, Uchiha Itachi, wrenched her heart. He had been forced to kill his own clan… his family… the people closest to him. She measured his pain against her own, and decided that their maimed pasts were equal. From the look on his face as he told his story—stony yet emotional, emotionless yet vulnerable—Konan could tell that he would understand. His goal would be beneficial to Akatsuki.

Nagato thought so as well. "Konan," he called. She gracefully stood and approached the men, coming to stand beside Pein. She raised her hand, palm out and facing Uchiha Itachi. Pieces of paper peeled off of the ground; the walls; the ceiling and layered themselves over the visitor's body. The chakra she had embedded the paper's fibers with earlier did an inventory of the man and he proved to be clean, no hidden weapons, no ulterior motives. The paper fluttered to the ground again, becoming one with the building.

"Welcome to Akatsuki." Pein said unceremoniously. Then he retreated into the darkness, leaving the rest to her. He would do the initiating, she would handle the orientation.

"I'll show you to your room," Konan said, leading the new recruit down a hallway. She was unthreatened by his footsteps behind her. They reached his door and he walked inside. Before he could shut the door, she slipped inside the small dark room, lit only by the moonlight streaming through the window. He seemed a little surprised and stood still as she rummaged through the closet.

She found what she was looking for and tossed the mass of cloth at Itachi, who caught it deftly. The stack of clothes contained the standard Akatsuki uniform of mesh, shirt, pants, and cloak, along with shoes and a cone hat for travelling.

"Who are you?" Itachi asked suddenly, breaking the oddly comfortable silence.

"My name is Konan. I'm second in command," she brought her eyes from the moon outside to Itachi's face.

"Your leader accepted me fairly quickly," he stated, raising an eyebrow. Yes, Konan had noticed that too.

"It's because you can relate to our pain. Your background sets you on the path to the same goal Pein and I share. You're like us," Konan said, stepping closer to the man. He was five inches taller than her, and her eyes came up to the base of his neck. "Who did you leave behind?" she whispered, tilting her head up to look into his eyes. He still had his Mangakyo Sharingan activated.

"My younger brother," he replied, looking over her head.

"Ah. You couldn't bring yourself to kill him?" she said softly. His eyes met hers. Amber and crimson locked. Silence fell over them as they exanimated each other's gazes, trying to see deeper.

Itachi's lips moved. "What is your story?" At first she did not answer. Continuing to look into his eyes, she admired the long lashes and gorgeous shape of the lids.

And she found him trustworthy. She began to whisper the chronicles of her life: from her time as a child in the Third Great Ninja War, the founding of Akatsuki by the man she loved and was devoted to, his death. She spilled her heart out to him, yet somehow was able to keep it reserved. She told him without telling him, giving him the outline but going in-depth. Konan released just enough to make clear that she related to him. Their stories began with loss, whether it be of a lover or an entire clan. In that way they were similar.

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><p><em>-…and evolved into pain…-<em>

It had been three years since Itachi joined Akatsuki, and by this time the organization had all of its members. Not long ago Itachi made Orochimaru leave the group, and recruited Deidara. The blond was just a boy, but he was quite explosive, if a pun was permitted.

Once a day Konan would climb the steps up to the secret room where Nagato was, secured to his contraption with the chakra rods protruding from his back. She would bring along a bowl of soup, or some rice and occasionally a small treat she'd receive from villagers. They'd hand her food and supplies, calling it an 'offering for their god and his angel'. Nagato and Konan relied on those offerings more than the citizens of Amegakure would ever know.

Today Konan had chicken broth, the best she could do with the limited stock they had. Climbing up the side of the machine, she made herself comfortable on one of its metal legs, facing Nagato. He looked stronger today, and she was glad. Moving a stray lock of red hair from his mouth, she held up the spoon to his lips. He sipped the broth and she repeated the actions until the bowl was empty and Nagato was fed.

They sat in silence. Konan absentmindedly ran her finger along one of the chakra rods in Nagato's back and her mind went back to that night. It was raining that night… and hadn't stopped yet. Even now the skies mourned the death of Yahiko.

_Yahiko…_ Konan glanced to the wall where Nagato kept his Six Paths of Pain and focused her eyes on the Deva Path. Her heart clenched. It was Yahiko, but then it was not. His body, but Nagato's will.

Konan found herself wishing, and not for the first time, that Nagato had not used their late friend's body as his main path. "_But that is how I will embrace Yahiko's will. I will take his body, and carry on his mission."_ Nagato had told her. She understood, but it still tormented her to face Yahiko's body everyday then have to tell herself that he is dead and that is Nagato inside his body. It was like a slap in the face every time she had to look at the Deva Path. She despised yet loved it. At least this way she could still see him; she still see his body in action. She could appreciate that… right?

Itachi spent the past three years performing Akatsuki missions and developing his Mangekyo. It wasn't long when he had perfected his ultimate genjutsu, Tsukuyomi, and even manifested his own Susanoo.

Not once did he forget about the little brother he left behind. Sasuke would have graduated the Academy by now and become a shinobi, a part of his own three-man team. Itachi hoped more than anything that Sasuke wouldn't live a bitter life. He wanted his beloved little brother to have a good life, to stay loyal to the village and somehow forget about the older brother that so drastically destroyed his life, his family…

Agony settled into Itachi's heart. He would never see Sasuke grow up, all he had left were the memories. And even those were tainted.

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><p><em>-…which morphs into anger…-<em>

A knock sounded at Itachi's door. "What is it?" he asked from his position at the wooden desk in his room.

The door cracked open to reveal Konan. She entered the room and shut the door behind her. "You have a mission."

Itachi turned his full attention to his superior and she continued, "You and Kisame are to go to the Hidden Leaf and retrieve Uzumaki Naruto, the Nine-tail's jinchuriki."

The man slowly rose from his chair, his red eyes, now almost permanently Sharingan, glinting. "You… would make me… go back… there?" The pauses in his speech were the only signs he was giving her of the rage he felt behind his eyes.

And for some reason she did not feel threatened. "Yes. You and Kisame make the team best fit for this mission," she turned her back to him to open the door and leave, "And who knows? You might be able to catch up with some of your old comrades." It was a harsh joke, and Konan only meant it to be half-hearted.

She suddenly withdrew her hand from the doorknob when a lick of black flame danced on its metal surface. Offended that Itachi would use such a technique on her, she turned around, her paper floating around her body protectively. "What do you think you're—" Itachi slammed her up against the wall, pinning her with a hand at her neck.

He leaned in close and whispered in her ear as she mildly choked. "I don't care what the cause is, I'm not going back there."

With his strong hand wrapped around her neck, she had no means of responding. Silently she willed her paper to fold themselves into kunai-shaped daggers and aimed them at Itachi's back. With a flick of her fingers the tips came rushing at Itachi, aiming to kill. He moved at the last second, avoiding weapons and therefore letting go of her throat. She gasped for air.

"You… wouldn't… even go… if it was… for the sake… of peace?" she huffed between pants.

He looked at her sharply from the other side of the small room. "No peace is worth any amount of devastation."

Returning to her feet, Konan answered, "You're wrong. Peace is the ultimate achievement. A person with the right ideals will do anything to get there."

"Your stubbornness refuses you to realize that once you've been through enough pain, one can no longer experience peace. Pain leaves a permanent scar. It's one that you can't work though. It's a blemish, a deformity. One that you can't look past. Your pain was so long ago that you've forgotten." Itachi's voice was cold and steady.

Konan's hands clenched and she took a step closer to Itachi. "You're wrong again, Uchiha. My pain is handed to me on a dish every single day. I have to see his face, then tell myself that it really isn't _him_ under that skin. My heart is broken every single time. I can never get over it. I've been through more pain than you can imagine, and I'm still suffering. And let me tell you from someone who is _experienced. _No matter how much agony you go through, there is _always _room for hope for a greater peace."

Her stony glare matched his and she let the words sink in before she said, "Your departure is to happen immediately." And left the room.

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><p><em>-…then is cured by love.-<em>

Itachi stumbled into the hideout, walking with the support of Kisame. "Hey, someone go get Konan!" the swordsman yelled.

"She's in her room," Pein said calmly from the doorway. "I'm sure Itachi can walk on his own. Let him find his way to her. Meanwhile, Kisame-san, please debrief me on your mission. You were gone a while, and it is obvious that you return empty-handed."

Konan was in the middle of folding an origami flower when the door to her room burst open. She whipped her head around and transformed her hands into reams of paper, preparing for a quick attack.

She quickly returned her hands to their normal flesh and shape with five digits when Itaachi stumbled into the room. He clutched at his hollow eyes as he collapsed on her bed. Cautiously, Konan kneeled next to her own bed and leaned over Itachi's head. "What happened?" she asked quietly, recalling their row before he had left. It all seemed trivial now.

"He tried to kill me, and I pounded him. I used the genjutsu on him. I hurt him." Itachi's voice held so much sorrow that Konan felt the need to take his hand. He fingers locked around hers so tightly she knew they would be tingly later. It was odd; Itachi was being oddly affectionate and showing much more emotion than he usually did. Konan wrote it off to the pain.

"Was it your brother?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," he whispered, the word carried so much agony. In the moment of silence Konan's eyes ran over his face. There was blood crusted under his right eye.

She left the room for just a second to wet a cloth. Once she returned, she gently dabbed his cheek until the blood came off his skin. When she was done, she kept her palm against his porcelain cheek, coaxing him to open his eyes.

He did, and an understanding passed between them. They'd both been through loss. They'd both experienced pain. They'd both felt anger. And now they needed a cure for their agony.

Konan tilted her head down further, never once taking her amber eyes away from his scarlet. She paused once their mouths were close enough to taste the other's breath. Itachi's hand snaked up behind her neck and pulled her down the rest of the way to him. Their lips met in a simple kiss. She pulled away and looked at him.

Now there was something else in his eyes. He looked at her with a certain fierceness that Konan knew existed in her own eyes at that same moment. She unhooked her cloak and let it fall to the floor. Climbing on the bed, she straddled Itachi around the hips, unbuttoning his cloak. When that task was complete, she leaned over and kissed him – hard.

Their lips met desperately, passionately, their tongues mingling and fighting for dominance. Moans were unsuccessfully stifled and they eventually stopped trying to keep them in.

Konan removed her shirt and the mesh that was underneath, exposing herself to him unashamed. As soon as her top was off, Itachi flipped them over so that he was on top. After removing his own shirt, he leaned down to kiss Konan. She ran her fingers appreciatively over his hard chest and defined abdomen, moaning the whole way down.

Her hand rubbed over the bulge in his pants and he tilted his head down into her shoulder, groaning. Itachi removed her skirt next, and she got rid of his pants.

Luckily no one was around to hear them as they cured each other of the pain of their pasts.

When they were done Konan was wrapped in his strong arms. She whispered against his chest, "There's always hope." In response he kissed her forehead lightly.

And they were healed, if only for a moment.

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><p><strong>So yeah, I just spent four hours writing this! And now it is 3am, and I should probably go to sleep… Anyway, I think it turned out great (: I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!<strong>

**The idea for this oneshot came from scrolling through some Itachi fanart… He's such a deep guy and I've always had a desire to write about Konan. So why not both of them at the same time? (: Both of them have been through a lot, so the "Cycle of Agony" applies to both of them. And I always liked Akatsuki pairings!**

**I'd really enjoy reading your feedback, so write a review!**


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